I traced back my doubt

During the wee hours of the morning today, God shed the light on my doubt in Him. I have been in a rat maze, constantly coming up short as I tried to trace back the point in my life when I started to doubt God, but more specifically when I kept asking "would He hear my prayer". There is a long story behind this epiphany and this limited amount of space won't allow me to tell all, but I would like to share a little of what God showed me. Approximately 8 years ago I had a life changing event happen to me. It was during this time of turmoil and so many unanswered questions, that I stopped believing that God heard me. If I'm really being honest, I now see a series of bad choices that landed me in a spot where I was making decisions without consulting God. The compiling of those choices resulted in the being in a spot where I expected God to jump back in and take over where I had failed. I was using God to get me out of the space between a rock and a hard spot. And I expected God to get me out of that spot within my parameters and according to what I believed was the right direction. What I have since learned is that God has always had a plan and He will do things in His time and according to His plan. I also learned that He never really left me, but instead always had a hedge of protection around me, ehen I was making less than stellar choices. But one of the greatest things I learned is I had to turn everything over to Him DAILY if I really was going to call myself a child of God. I have not mastered the act of giving all to Him, but I now feel like I better understand where I went off track, why I started to doubt and what I need to do to help repair my trust in God. I know the point in time where I allowed doubt and fear to rule my life. I now know that God never desired harm to come to me, but instead He has always wanted the very best for my life. I learned that the scriptures tell me to trust Him because He holds my tomorrows.